Insanity is a Birth Defect
by Astarael's Get
Summary: Konoha. Eleven years ago. The notyetninja trio of doom Rei, Tei and Anno wreak havoc upon daily life. Warning: contains OCs, goosehate and irritating siblings.


**Sorry, this is a really short first chapter TTTT but that's a bad habit of mine. I'm working on making these longer... chapter two sure will be. Kudos to whoever can find the Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged reference. **

**If you like this, definitely check out my awesome sister Lady Lilliana's _Sweet Angels_ and _Why Bathroom Doors Are Best Kept Locked_. Also, please read my story, _Leader's Towel_.**

**Uh... Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Tei and her family belong to me, Rei and her family belong to Lady Lilliana, and Anno and his grandmother are joint owned by both of us. **

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There are some things best left forgotten. Like that jumper that auntie Gertrude got you for Christmas, with all the bells and bobbles, or what you did last Wednesday. But sometimes, remembering them is useful. Or hilarious. 

In this case, hilarious.

The place: The Hidden Village of the Leaf, aka Konoha.

The time: Eleven years ago.

The subjects: Suzuka Telaki, Miyako Reikisha, Damiyo Anno.

The day: Sunday.

The event: Well, you'll have to read and find out.

Anno was crying. He'd tripped over, and not only torn his knees and hands open, but incurred the wrath of several large dogs, a horse, a flock of pigeons, and then, worst of all, his grandmother- a very neat, strict and loud woman who could frighten even the toughest ninja into washing his socks by hand. He'd been given a thirty minute lecture that half the village had heard, and now was sat alone by the river.

"Anno! Ninjas don't cry!" he looked up to see his best friends, Tei and Rei, standing over him. I shall take this moment to describe them to you; after all, a girl does in fact change during an eleven year period of time, especially when that period of time involves puberty and graduation.

Rei already had her trademark spiky hair and hairclip, standing a little taller than Tei and frowning. Her black, foofy dress reached her knees and so did her black boots- Rei was always a snappy dresser, even at seven years old. Tei's blonde hair was short and messy, like a boy's, and she was barefoot, wearing hand-me-down shorts and an old black t-shirt that was much too large for her- probably one of her brother's old cast-offs. Anno himself looked much the same as he does now, with messy brown hair and an immaculate outfit- a plain white t-shirt and black shorts.

"Wipe those grassy eyes!" Rei ordered, pointing meaningfully at the handkerchief that just happened to be tucked neatly into Anno's pocket.

Tei scowled in the general direction of several geese who were chasing a small blond-haired boy across the grass, before getting that dangerous glint in her eye that meant something- or someone- was about to die. Seconds later, she was gone.

Rei and Anno glanced around, finally spotting her chasing the geese with a kunai in each hand. Her loud battlecries of "EFFIN' BIRDS!", punctuated by a few choice curses she'd overheard through the floorboards when her parents and siblings thought she'd gone to bed, scattered the geese, who had finally realised that they could escape the tiny ninja-in-training by doing what they had evolved to do.

Tei jumped up and down in frustration as the geese flew away. "EFFIN' BIRDS!"

Yes, geese fly because they don't like being skewered on knives by small children.

It just makes so much more sense now, doesn't it?

The blond boy watched the scene from behind a tree. In fact, it was the only tree for about a fifty metre radius, so the three older children had no trouble locating him. However, they had been forbidden to speak with him by their parents (or, in Anno's case, his grandmother).

For this reason, and this reason only, Tei pulled the remnants of a cookie from her pocket and offered it to the one we now know as Uzumaki Naruto. "Cookie?"

Unfortunately, it was at this point that the youngest of Tei's three older sisters, Kaoru, twelve at the time and a newly graduated Genin, spotted them. "Laki-muffin what are you doing?!"

And so Rei, Anno and 'Laki-muffin' were dragged away. And the four-year-old Naruto, not understanding what had just occurred, closed his tiny fist around the cookie crumbs and wandered off to find somewhere to eat his treasure.

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**Yeah... so... next chapter... some mad antics! Some Uchiha cameos! And more of Tei and Rei's relatively normal families! Review if it takes your fancy, and if you want to see any particular Leaf ninja then make sure to tell me. I'll stick them in the story just for you.  
**


End file.
